Raise Your Emotional IQ Instantly—Take the Free Relationship Quiz

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to treat your personal and emotional needs as if they were optional. They are not—they must be fulfilled in order for you to be your best. Deny or ignore them long enough and they will not only run your life, but have the potential to ruin it, whether or not you are consciously aware of your emotional needs. And you can’t call yourself ‘emotionally intelligent’ if you don’t even know what your top four personal and emotional needs are! The late psychologist and researcher, Abraham Maslow, describes the process of growth as a hierarchy of need fulfillment and development. First we must satisfy our physical needs (clothing, food, shelter, and safety) then we start scouting around for our emotional needs (to be appreciated, loved, understood, part of a community, etc.) Then we arrive at the highest level of human growth: identifying our values and peak experiences (creating, learning, playing, having adventures, leading, designing,... Read More →


Who is the Sand in Your Oyster?

Most folks have responded really positively to the last series on Assimilating Truth from Thomas Leonard, although we did get a few violently negative reactions as well, which reminds me that, while I found him stimulating and inspiring, he was the sand in my oyster–he made me very uncomfortable, but as a result, he provoked me to make pearls. I had to do something with all that gritty sand after all! If you did find his comments on truth to be a bit caustic, see if you can figure out why this provoked you so much as that will no doubt lead to some interesting new truth for you. Any over-reaction to anything merits a bit of introspection. I wouldn't say that all my friends are “hip.” I love them as they are. Leonard's point was to have at least one friend who is willing to challenge your thinking and tell you the gritty truth. And if not a friend, at least go to listen to speakers or read books or magazines that will shake you up a bit.  That's all. And, there is nothing wrong... Read More →


Getting the Love You Want

Happy Valentine's Day! Last year my husband was denigrating Valentine's Day as a commercial trick to get men to buy stuff. That is one way to look at it, but I said, “Hey, let's say there was no official Valentine's Day. Wouldn't it be nice to dedicate one day out of the year to the one you love?” So there you have it. After his grumblings, I assumed that I wouldn't be getting much from him on the day so I took it upon myself to buy a lovely antique rhinestone collar in amethyst from the 1960's – it is stunning. I gave it to my husband and said that he could give it to me on Valentine's Day. Then, the weekend rolls around and he presents me with a bright red handbag covered in hearts–especially thoughtful since he thinks I have a few too many handbags already. And he bought me a new novel to read and even a sweet little gift from the girls. We had a very fine dinner out on Saturday night and a perfect weekend. I felt completely cherished (my number one emotional need) and feel... Read More →


You Can Have Your Ideal Life

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I've recently had a few huge epiphanies and I thought they might be worth passing along. While in Wisconsin this summer at my mom's house I had the task of cleaning up old tax and business documents I had been storing in her attic. I discovered an old coaching workbook I had saved from my days as a singleton living in my tiny, rented New York City apartment. I had just started my coaching business (this was years ago). In that workbook, was an exercise that I still give to my clients to this day – design your ideal life -- make a scrapbook, a collage, draw a picture and or write about it in as much detail as possible. Now in my own workbook I found a sketch of my ideal life and I was astounded. I had achieved almost everything I had sketched out. Now mind you, my sketches were simple little stick figures, but there I was dancing with my husband (okay, he doesn't dance, but he is a wonderful man!), there were two little stick figure kids, a house by the sea, an international speaking... Read More →


Floundering? Use Talane’s Goal-Setting Strategies to get back on Track

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I recently signed up to receive tips from a rather famous person who said that the number one reason people aren't successful is because they don't complete their goals. This is a rather simplistic bit of advice and not very helpful. After all, we don't set goals with the intention of not doing them. We set goals because we do want to achieve them. So simply telling someone to complete the goals they set is poor advice, in my humble opinion. A much more interesting question would be to take a look at all the things you've said you wanted to do and ask yourself, “Why haven't I completed this goal?”  What has prevented you from reaching this goal? Let's take a look at a popular goal this time of year – lose weight and get in shape. It all starts off great – you sign up for the gym membership and get going on a diet, but come February most people stop going to the gym and their diet has fallen by the wayside. What happened? Well, this case is like most. You failed because... Read More →


Conquer Your Fears in 10 Simple Steps

“Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.” Eddie Rickenback I'm not a fearful sort of person so it always throws me a bit when someone asks, “How do I overcome my fears?” Being “fearless” is more than developing courage. Here's the quick cure to fear:  Get that fear is your friend. It is there to tell you something and keep you safe from potentially harmful situations. If you are afraid to quit your job because you have a mortgage and a family to support and no savings, well, you should be afraid because to quit would put your family at risk. Eliminate or reduce the fear by keeping your day job and using holiday time to find a new job or start moonlighting in a potential new career or business in the evenings.  Ask yourself how you can reduce or eliminate your fears at their source.  Fear may simply indicate that you have insufficient financial reserves or need more support. Let the fear motivate you to start an aggressive... Read More →


Be busy, not dizzy: Top 10 tips for a productive 2015

DO YOU rush around but never seem to get anything done? Then make 2015 the year you supercharge your productivity – with these 10 top tips. By Christine Fieldhouse, in Express, 28 December, 2014. Read the original article on the Express website. P.S. Get your New Year off to a great start with 30-days of FREE coaching available with every purchase of Coach Yourself to Success, make sure you buy the newly revised and updated edition to take advantage of this great offer.    Read More →


Inspirational Life Coaching in a "Letter to My Nephews"

I read Jonathan's letter below and found it an inspiring reminder of what is truly important in life. You can learn a lot from books, but many things can only be learned the hard way by living, suffering and enjoying life. A year and a half ago, I was in a plane with very bad turbulence, and I worried that if the plane went down, many of the lessons I’ve learned in life would end up at the bottom of the ocean. I wrote a letter to my nephews for them to read when they were older. I hope they’ll find it useful. —————– Dear nephews, I’m writing this on a plane. The reason I started writing this was that I feared the plane might go down, and if it went down, all the lessons I’ve learned in life would disappear with me. By writing this, I hope to pass on the few lessons I’ve learned. The most important lesson is that the vast majority of things you worry about will not bother you the next day. A year later you will not even be able to remember them if you try. When... Read More →


Bring in the New!

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I thought you might be amenable to this rather enjoyable and satisfying 'end of year ritual' to check out the old year and bring in the new; from both a personal and professional perspective. The simple instructions: Sit down with a glass of sherry and a mince pie (if you live in England) or a cup of hot chocolate if you live in the US and make a note of your thoughts around the following four points. You may wish to do this in partnership with a significant other or even with the kids. What have you accomplished in the past year, personally and professionally? List both the big and the small stuff – it’s common to get over 20 items. Include things such as taking a trip or making a new friend as well as your business achievements. What do you wish to accomplish personally and professionally in this New Year?  Targets, goals and dreams--think big! A wish list - not a must do. Bonus questions: What difficulties did you overcome to realize those accomplishments? List out the... Read More →


Complete Your Year Powerfully

There is often a lot going on at the end of the year, so don’t worry if you don’t have time to do this until after the holidays. On the other hand, the New Year is a perfect time for fresh starts . They are all about completing your year. Pay off personal debts and obligations. One of my friends had a very strong family tradition of paying off all debts before the New Year. They worked hard to make sure they had no personal debts outstanding and could begin the year with a clean slate. I like this idea. If you have any personal debts or owe money to people, pay it off, if at all possible. (I’m not talking about your car or house.) It may even make sense to take out a small loan to pay back friends or family who have lent you money. At the very least, come up with a payment plan you can afford and tell them how much you’ll now be paying them back each month. The point is to make sure you are in financial integrity and have written agreements for paying any monies owed. Complete... Read More →



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